Real Talk

I remember a distinct bully from middle school. Which, I think is agreeably every child's worst experience. There was a bully. Not just to me, of course, there were other kids in the same painful boat. Painful, wooden, hormonally-rocking boat. But I digress. I remember a single distinct incident in which said bully, named Mario... let me stop and tell you about Mario, actually. Mario had always been a symbol of Italian justice in my eyes. He had been ever since I took up my first controller to play as Nintendo's popular Italian plumber platforming title. But this Mario is in no way tantamount to his mustached counterpart. But now I re-digress. This incident occurred on a very important testing day when I had donned my slightly nicer than average clothing. Without warning in what seemed to be one fluid he spit on my pants. Unannounced, without purpose, but with fury. I wanted to just leap from the chair and slug him one right in his un-mustached face, but I knew he would take me...

There's a fellow, a fellow student in fact, who's name is Gil Greenburg. Now, Gil is a person who will try to (operate word being try) spout off anything. Any thing at all. Whether it be relevant to the conversation or not. Whether it's completely plausible or not even fathomable. He'll go to great lengths, on the spot, to prove everything he says is a fact. Whether it's instantaneously and with great bias searching the web for his proof, or even making his own site or wiki entry to make you believe. So I'd say that Gil's got numerous "talents". Among these talents is a certain scamming talent. Ethical or not, he has a real knack for it. He has a real passion for it too. He spends much of his time or passions to this talent. Another "talent" I'd have to say is his odd ability to just make anything funny. Things that would never be funny if you or I had said them, but when Gil says them they're extremely out of place and with a hil...