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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Bull-ez

I remember a distinct bully from middle school. Which, I think is agreeably every child's worst experience. There was a bully. Not just to me, of course, there were other kids in the same painful boat. Painful, wooden, hormonally-rocking boat. But I digress. I remember a single distinct incident in which said bully, named Mario... let me stop and tell you about Mario, actually. Mario had always been a symbol of Italian justice in my eyes. He had been ever since I took up my first controller to play as Nintendo's popular Italian plumber platforming title. But this Mario is in no way tantamount to his mustached counterpart. But now I re-digress. This incident occurred on a very important testing day when I had donned my slightly nicer than average clothing. Without warning in what seemed to be one fluid he spit on my pants. Unannounced, without purpose, but with fury. I wanted to just leap from the chair and slug him one right in his un-mustached face, but I knew he would take me like a small deer. A hormonally imbalanced small deer. Well the other day, I caught up with a friend from High school, and she started telling me about how he tries to call her all the time trying to hook up. I, of course, asked why she didn't want to. She says "That's gross! He has like 4 kids and no job, and doesn't even go to school!!" And I wondered.... was this some form of poetic justice. Or just the way the world inevitably works. True it doesn't always work in one's favor, but perhaps karma is real. I think in the end. I won the fight.

Thoughts on Gil Greenburg.

There's a fellow, a fellow student in fact, who's name is Gil Greenburg. Now, Gil is a person who will try to (operate word being try) spout off anything. Any thing at all. Whether it be relevant to the conversation or not. Whether it's completely plausible or not even fathomable. He'll go to great lengths, on the spot, to prove everything he says is a fact. Whether it's instantaneously and with great bias searching the web for his proof, or even making his own site or wiki entry to make you believe. So I'd say that Gil's got numerous "talents". Among these talents is a certain scamming talent. Ethical or not, he has a real knack for it. He has a real passion for it too. He spends much of his time or passions to this talent. Another "talent" I'd have to say is his odd ability to just make anything funny. Things that would never be funny if you or I had said them, but when Gil says them they're extremely out of place and with a hilarious inflection. Above all Gil is a level headed, hilarious friend. Also, ask him to say Samsung. You'll laugh.

Some questions I'd like to ask Gil:
1) How old were you when you first tried to scam someone?
2) How'd you do it?
3) How often do your scams work out?
4) What's your obsession with lemonade?
5) What's the biggest scam you've pulled off to date?
6) Why do you do it?
7) Do you have any other hobbies?
8) Where'd you grow up?
9) You like any sports?
10) Where do you see yourself after you graduate?